Tag Archives: Lessons in Life

Getting Through the In-Betweens

31 May

By Knight Stivender, Mt. Juliet (TN) High, Class of 95

I think the most important thing you can do upon graduation – of anything – is to master transitions.

The advice given to triathletes is to learn to do them seamlessly. Wear a wetsuit during the swim and shirk it on the run to your bike. Have your bike shoes already clipped into your pedals and slide your feet into them as you’re mounting your bicycle. Eat while you’re running. Most importantly: Know what the transition areas look like before the race begins. The point to all this is to save your energy for the parts of the event that matter most.

So you can beat everyone else.

There are other kinds of transitions, though.
 
One day, your steady will become your spouse. You may still have “date nights”, and you may still cuddle on the couch. What you’ll have in addition are bills with both your names on them, two sets of relatives who want you home for the holidays, decisions about careers and children, and a lifetime of more transitions to look forward to.

One day, you will quit a job and start a new one. You will be proficient and confident in the one you leave behind, scared and intimidated by the one ahead. If you are leaving under good conditions, you may feel guilt or remorse. If you are leaving under bad ones, you may feel hostility or regret. You need to know what you are getting into, and you’ll want to make sure you haven’t left a mess.

One day, you will become a grownup. You may have your own children, or you may help others raise theirs. The little ones will call you something like “Miss Knight” or “Mrs. Stivender” or “Lily’s Mom”. The teenagers will not think you are cool or interesting or hot. They will ask you for snacks and to take them places. They will expect you to make decisions and be in control of whatever is happening, whether it’s a bully that terrorizes the whole classroom or a 500-year flood that wipes out half the city.

One day you will watch someone die. Maybe it’s prolonged, maybe it’s relatively quick. At different moments it will feel like both. If the person who is dying is someone you love, you will struggle with the right way to say “goodbye”. Maybe you will be lucky and your loved one will find the words you can’t.

It may be a good idea to ponder transitions ahead of time, but you don’t want to race through these.

And you sure as hell don’t want to be alone for them.

***

Knight. Love the smile!

Bio: I am Senior Editor, Digital & Niche Content for The Tennessean, where I’ve worked since graduating from the University of Tennessee in 1999. I live in Franklin with my daughter, who just “graduated” third grade and my husband, who just helped supervise his eighth high school graduation as a teacher at Fairview High School. I have a ton of hobbies, including running, cycling and the outdoors – which you can read about here: www.knightstivender.com.

Alright, you all know what’s coming next…although instead of gushing about this fabulous woman all over again, check out The Story We Share. 

This lady is amazing. I think this picture pretty much sums it up.  Look at that smile.  I think a smile is the most disarming thing.  It’s welcoming, makes you feel safe and shows a person can have fun and laugh.  Knight is a woman who smiles through life. I’m  not talking a rose colored glasses type of smile but a genuine outlook of no matter what life throws her way, what transition or challege awaits her, she smiles.  I love that and admire that about her. 

Every time I read Knight’s amazing blog, it’s funny how no matter whether it’s about running, gardening or family, it resonates with me.  Check her blog Life in Full out. She is a beautiful, smart and witty writer…so are you on her blog yet :) Also, I just want to mention that her and her team at the Tennessean did an AMAZING job keeping us all informed during the flood.  I’m sure there were a lot of sleepless night for Knight during that.  I know journalism can be a thankless job so Knight, in case you haven’t heard it in a while, THANK YOU!

About this series: This is one of  a series of guest posts in May that will run every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

My Last Will and Testament and a Bake Sale

27 May

“Change is the essence of life.  Be willing to surrender what you are for what you can become.”

All that is left

So, yesterday was my last day at work.  That was interesting. I was excited and nervous.  I’ve never quit anything in my life and to leave a job, even if it is to go back to school, killed me.  I’ve been with these people for 4 years! How do you just cut youreslf off in one day? Not to mention, I just don’t think I process things correctly.  It didn’t feel like my last day till I got in the car, was driving away and it all of the sudden hit me.  Also, I’m terrible at goodbyes.  So all in all, an akward day for me.  

While I was cleaning up my desk, I did find these little gems.  I could’ve been selfish and taken them with me…set them up in my first class of law school, but no.  Instead, I want to leave them with those that I think will enjoy them.  Think of this as my last will and testament.  So gather round for the reading of the will.  Sorry, no one gets the car. I know that’s all what you’re here for.  It is a champ at hauling books of boxes. Hmmm…who’s first.

1. Jesus with the 5 o’clock shadow- This is bestowed upon Jason. He comes with all the rubberbands you shot at me over cubeland in Novi.  Just remember that it’s all fun and games till someone looses an eye.
2. Sharpies- A publicist always has sharpies.  ALWAYS.  I was strolling through a bookstore while there was a signing in the back.  Across the aisle I saw a woman in heels franticly running up front.  She was looking for sharpies for her author.  I dug in the purse and ta-da! Here you go bad publicist, here’s a sharpie for your author.  I normally carry three.  I’m not willing to be naked and without a sharpie nor do I think ripping off the bandaid all at once is the best way to heal so how about this.  I’ll keep one and give the rest to my fabulous publicist friends.  To Curt, Katie, Stephanie, Heather, Claudia, Brenda…may you never go without.
3. Popcorn- This goes to AJ. I also owe her gum and some advil since she always had it and I never did. 
4. Talking Jesus- Yes, it is a talking Jesus.  The best thing for a quiet office, is talking Jesus.  I feel I might have to leave this to my successor since this was left for me.  New children’s publicist meet Talking Jesus. Usuaslly I do the daily word at 8.
5. Dixie Stampede Cup- This thing cracks me up.  One of the editors brought it back for me because she thought it was funny.  It is.  But now I feel it belongs back home.  That is why my dear friend Abby. Abby, wherever you may go in life, this should go with you so you can remember home back in East Tennessee :)  
6. Webster- This goes to Jen…well, it actaully goes to Jake, her adorable little boy. I’d see Jen coming in the office and right after her would be little Jake.  He loved Webster so it’s only right it’s his now.  Plus, I’m a children’s publicist, something has to go to the kids right?!
7. Flair- There are two pieces of flair here.  One is a magnet from the Office that says “I Love My Job” and the other is a pin from one of the first books I worked on as an intern, Aim Low. Kristen, these are for you.  Your fantastic sense of humor will fit these perfectly.  I wish I could get you corndogs. I’ll send those.  Please where the pin to our next sonic happy hour.  Thanks for making me laugh and keeping me sane.
8. And what you’ve all been waiting for…the Publicist on a Stick. This is one of the best things I’ve ever recieved.  So funny.  Jason, this is for you.  Just remember, to whom much is given, much is expected.

This concludes the reading of the will.  But don’t leave yet!  One more thing to tell you about before I haul boxes and furniture around today in the blistering heat and humidity…

This Saturday, the fabulous Lindsay of Love and Olive Oil, one of my favorite food blogs, has organized local food bloggers including myself for a bake sale benefiting Second Harvest Food Bank. 

Check the event details out on facebook. Isn’t this such a wonderful idea?  The ladies behind these blogs are fantastic and the recipes on their sites are mouthwatering so I can’t wait to see what they whip up.  Sadly though, I’ll be out of town this weekend and unable to make it to the sale but I will be sending my favorite Lemon Ricotta cookies.  Mmm.   Be sure to check it out, get some goodies, say hello to the local food bloggers and tell all of your friends!  All of the proceeds go to help flood relief efforts here in Middle Tennessee.  I just love how food brings people together and helps out.  That’s my kind of relief effort!

Happy Thursday everyone!

Home to Me

25 May

“Isn’t it perfect how the memories feel the same” ~Josh Kelley

Home is more than the house

Hello friends!  So much has been going on lately! It’s been great to have my friends help me out with the graduation series this month to give me time to pack, finish up at work (tomorrow is my last day, agh) and try to get my life in order to go back to Hotlanta for the summer before law school.  But I’ve missed you all!

Being faced with leaving my home here in Nashville, I’ve thought a lot about the idea of home and what makes something a home.  Sure, it’s the location, but it’s so much more than that.

Grandad's Bench

This past weekend I went up to northern Michigan, through Traverse and up M22 to the lake house for my lovely cousin Katie’s wedding.  I’ve been going there for the summer with my family since I was little and it has always  been my favorite place on earth.  It’s waking up to lake, the air, the beach, and the small town where the place to do business is the bakery over a hot cup of Leelanau Coffee yes, but this house holds so much more.  It’s family dinners around a huge cherry table, cousins running rampant, and the well-loved bench that sits overlooking the lake.  It’s the laughter that fills the vaulted ceilings, my grandfather’s books that fill the bookcases and my grandmother’s easel with her latest painting on it.  It’s the love and the memories that make this home.

View from the bench. Best compliments are a hot cup of coffee, a cool morning and conversation.

A couple of years when my grandparents died, the house had to be put on the market  which absolutely broke my heart.  There are five brothers and with all of them living far away, the upkeep and cost of the house would get too burdensome.  I understood but secretly hoped it wouldn’t sell.  One economic downturn and housing market fail later, we still have the house.

It’s been good and bad.  Of course, I love being up there but grandparents weren’t there, the books were left untouched on the shelves and the paintings left unfinished.  It’s been a lot of work for the families.  Kids went to college, people went up at different times and things just changed.  I just had a different feel.

I’m not going to lie, I was excited to go to Michigan this past weekend because I ached to be at the lake but I was a little nervous about being up there with all these people I didn’t know.  What would it be like?  Well…let’s just say that this weekend reminded me why I loved this place in the first place.

Cousins

Katie’s wedding was absolutely gorgeous and I had the honor and pleasure of standing next to her as she starts this new adventure with Justin.  That’s what family is.  Her parents were up as well as my Uncle and his wife who married Katie, my cousins and my great  uncle and great aunt.  There were big dinners around the cherry table, laughter filling the room and late night talks that lasted till 2-3 in the morning.

The wedding party were awesome.  Stephanie and Jeff, you are hilarious and I had a blast getting to know you. Road trip soon? And Lady Logan, thank god you were there giving me direction :)

Two Aunts

It was making new friends and connecting with family I haven’t seen in so long.  I loved staying up late and laughing with my aunt.  I’ve missed these people! And apparently my boy cousins are all giants and somehow I am STILL the shortest in the family even though I’m the oldest.  It was so great to see them and hang out with them.  I got to meet Ellie, Katie’s cousin on the other side who rocks and who does crazy long distance running.  We’re going to have to get her to write a post.  Ellie, I think you are fantastic!

Ladies!

I am so excited about the lake this year after that trip.  I’ll be able to be up for two weeks this year with my family, uncles, aunts and cousins I haven’t seen in years will be up to play king of the bongo and the Boy will be up with his family! I can’t wait to show them my home. Justin, Katie’s new husband said something up at the lake at the wedding that has stuck with me…my family are my friends and my friends are my family.  I couldn’t agree more Justin and to me, that’s what makes a home.

So as I get ready to leave Nashville soon I am comforted by the fact that home is the people.  Home can be in different places.  Home is where the heart is is taking on a whole new meaning.

What makes a place home for you? Where is your home? Is it different than where you physically live?

Each Year is More Fulfilling Than the Last

24 May

The choices you have made are not so important as the choices to be made.

Think on eternal things.

Don’t casually regard love shown in patience, kindness and sacrifice.

Leave things better than you found them.

Value criticism–whether it’s fair or unfair is often just a matter of volume.

Trying times are cleansing times.

Be quick to apologize and quick to forgive.

Generosity and pettiness each come back, multiplied.

***

I’m a husband, father, son, brother and friend to different people.  I practice law in Atlanta.  At 51 I can say, each year since graduation has been more fulfilling than the last, and I am learning more exciting things now than I have ever learned before.

Now of course I have to say a few things about Dad :) Honestly, when I thought about this series, I knew I had to have my Dad write one because I wanted to hear what he had to say.

I’ve always been close to my dad but I can’t explain how much I have enjoyed getting to know him in a totally different capacity now that I’m older.  My family are my friends, they challenge me, make me laugh and are my biggest supporters no matter what.  They expect a lot out of me but back me up in whatever I choose to do.  Dad has always told me to do what I love and has watching me change from a biology major, to a journalism major and now head to law school.  You can read about his surprise here.  No matter what though, Dad is always the first call.  Having a father who supports me like that has shaped me more than I realize.  I am finally getting that my parents DO know a heck of a lot more than I do so I better listen up!  I know, I know, but it’s better to learn that lesson late than not at all right.

The advice he gives above, he’s lived.  It’s short but it packs a punch. I need to learn how to better edit myself like Dad…you should’ve seen my high school papers he’d edit.  He’s the one who cured my fear of the red pen :) I watch him and see what a great man should be, a great husband should be and a great father should be. Dad has always been a man of few words but it’s the example that he sets that tells the most. I am so thankful for my Dad and that I can share him with you through this series.

About this series: This is one of  a series of guest posts in May that will run every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

Advice Well Lived (TPFL)

21 May

“I think of life itself now as a wonderful play that I’ve written for myself, and so my purpose is to have the utmost fun playing my part.”  ~Shirley MacLaine

Dear Class O’ 2K10,

I have to start out by apologizing. I have struggled with this blog. I really have.

I love to write and can often pull from my natural sarcasm to evoke some humor but for some reason I have not been able to start this one. That is part of the reason that it is 8:25 p.m. on the night before it will be posted and my sweet friend Jacklyn still hasn’t received it. I have been thinking about this for over a week and I am still not sure where to start. I have thought about several different directions to go with it…

White girl can jump. CBrown kickin' a$ at the high jump.

I thought about telling you about how much I loved my high school experience and somehow tying in how my Captain of the sports teams/Student Council/Most School Spirit/HC Queen coolness related to who I am today. But if I am honest, it really didn’t…

I thought about giving you some tips on how to figure out who you are. I think there are like 9.4 million books written on that topic but the reality is – you figure it out as you go.

I thought about copying and pasting the words from Dr. Seuss’s book, “Oh! The Places You’ll Go.” That, in fact, is true.

I thought about encouraging you to LIVE it up during these years….live every moment, take nothing for granted…you know, that kind of inspirational, overused, and 100% true stuff…

I thought about writing about what is cool. Because you are going to college and you are going to need to know. And because I am the obvious expert. No, seriously.

I thought about copying the entire famous Sunscreen Speech as my entry. It was read by our Valedictorian at our graduation ceremony, seemed like good advice and would be fast. (Plagairized, but fast nonetheless.)  Then I remembered that I never wear sunscreen so that just didn’t seem right.

I thought about telling you what to expect in the coming years and then telling you that these next few years are the best years of your life like everyone told me. But seriously, they aren’t. College was great, but each year of my life has gotten even better since then.

I thought about sharing my journey with you of the God that has pursued me relentlessly since my Sophmore year in high school when I met Him for the first time at a Young Life camp as a lost 15 year old. My story is really His story anyway.

But of all the things that I considered, I came to the conclusion that any stories that I could write, inspirational or humorous though they may be, would probably not be remembered by you in the long run.

So instead, I am going to leave you with a few bits of advice that I have come to live by.

This is YOUR journey…And I pray that you make it exactly what you want it to be.

Congratulations Class of 2010!

…

Don’t worry about being right, just about being kind.

Help people.

Hang out with funny people so you laugh often.

Work hard.

Fight for what you want and who you are.

Always give good hugs and good handshakes.

Believe in yourself.

Save money. Seriously. Seriously-Seriously.

Dance. Even if it’s just the Step-Touch-Snap…Dance.

You are worth it – don’t settle.

Try new things.

Be weird. Life is so much more enjoyable when you are weird.

Find God.

Love people. Love them well. All of them.

Be someone that you like.

Forgive.

High-Five people for no reason. It’s fun.

Be ballsy.

Always do what is right.

Call people by name.

Don’t ever give up.

Travel.

Find excuses to wear costumes.

Compliment people often.

Be thankful.

Play.

Learn a foreign language.

Say “Boo Yea” daily. It will make you feel better.

Push yourself to do things that you don’t think you can do.

Look for the good in everything and everyone.

Volunteer.

Chillax – things are never as bad as they seem.

Sing.

Wear jeans that make your butt look good.

And lastly, and most importantly…

Make life what you want it to be.

…

Congratulations Class of 2010!

***

Lovely Lady

I. Will. Miss. This. Lady. So. Much.

Well, I’ll miss our regular long runs together but I’ll be back.  Not only do I have a training partner but a friend for life.

I mean, read what this girl wrote…can you understand why we’re friends?!

This girl is a self-proclaimed intense friend.  She’s caring, selfless, adventurous, witty and insanely determined and talented.  If Rod is the welcome committee, Christy is the one who makes sure no one is left behind.

I’m honestly having a hard time with her bio because I just think what she wrote captures her so well.  With Christy, what you see is what you get and I love that about her.  Not many people live honestly you know.  Christy does and I love being a part of that.  Head over to Mermaids and Motorcycles and see for yourself.

About this series: This is one of  a series of guest posts in May that will run every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

Have I Mentioned Yet That I Love These People?

20 May

“As every runner knows, running is about more than just putting one foot in front of the other; it is about our lifestyle and who we are.” ~Joan Benoit Samuelson

East Nasty Water Stop at Tom King

You probably know by now that I run with a fabulous group of people, the Nasties.  And you may also have gathered that these have become not just running partners but great friends.  This has proven to be the most difficult part about leaving. I will miss my city but it’s the people who I haven’t quite figured out how I’ll live without.  I keep saying, I’ll just be displaced for awhile!

I’ve gotten some unexpected practice with that since I haven’t been able to run for a month but I’ve still managed to get my Nasty fix.

This past weekend when I was inducted into the Ring of Honor at Flying Saucer (yes my parents were proud) some came out to celebrate and we were all talking when Rod announced, “Jack I know I have something to tell you. I think it had to do with writing…” Hmmm.  We all carried on and Rod later enthusiastically announced, “Oh, I remember.  You’re going to be East Nasty of the Week.”  He could hardle finish because of the screams of myself and Christy :)  I’m pretty sure we gave someone a heart attack.  It’s ok, it was worth it.

So check out the new ENOW…soon to be displaced but still will come back for runs and of course true to East Nasty style…other very important celebrations.  I love these people! Love love love them!

Come on back over tomorrow to read what my TPFL has to say to the Class of 2010.

Are you in a running group or have  a certain group of friends you always run with?  How has it affected you?  How has it affected your running?

Sail Away from the Safe Harbor. Catch the Trade Winds in Your Sails

19 May

Ladies and Gentlemen, Distinguished Faculty, Administrators, Friends and Family and, of course, the Hoover High School graduating Class of 2010, today I want to talk to you about something that has been ten or so years in the making. Just a little over a decade ago I myself sat in the same place as you do now. Looking around, it is surprising just how little they have updated the Canton Civic Center since then. In fact, if the person on the farthest seat to the left, 14 rows back finds gum under their chair, sorry about that.

Years ago on that particular May afternoon of my own graduation, I can remember the speaker of the day retelling Loren Eiseley’s famous “Star Thrower” story, you know the tale where one person stumbles upon another person saving the lives of as many starfish as possible before the sun dries them out. I guess the moral of the story, and often quoted line, “I made a difference to that one,” unfazed me at the time as my own imagination was busy day-dreaming just how far I myself could chuck a starfish. But in the time since leaving this auditorium, my own life has been a mixture of fascinating, exciting, and the occasional moments that are hard to understand. I even believe that I have come to understand the lesson that one person can in fact make a difference. I once either heard or read somewhere that in life “we should expect the unexpected,” and if you get no other pearl of wisdom from me today, just go with that one. Believe me it’s true.

Now, if you were to look up “10 Years” on Wikipedia, you would get one of two things. The first is an article about a metal band with that particular name that formed in Knoxville, TN and the second is a page that describes how the word “decade” derives from the ancient Greek word dekas, which means 10. Therefore, once again students, Wikipedia has failed you, so please do not use it as a guide for your future research papers. What is missing in that said search is how crucial the idea of “ten years” can be when understood in the right context.

For instance, did you know that most historians will only examine an event in modern history after 10 years has gone by. Now, before your eyes gloss over and you begin to yawn at just the very mention of history, I promise this idea is not as boring as it may seem. You see, a historian would argue to you that 10 years of time needs to elapse before we can truly have a grasp on all the aspects of a particular situation. I believe that this concept is true. Notice however that I am NOT telling you to never react to something, to not get passionate about the things you care about. In fact I believe it is vital for everyone to follow your passions, make decisions, and to learn from your own mistakes. 10 years from now you will be able to look back at this moment of graduation and see it for its true meaning, which by the way is not about you getting presents from your grandparents and other family members. What is it all about, well that is for you to decide.

Famed writer Malcolm Gladwell just recently published an entire book entitled The Outliers with his thoughts on the ten-year or 10,000 hour rule. He argues that it will take a person a good ten years or at least 10,000 hours of working hard at something before they become completely confident and exceptional in their endeavors. He sites The Beatles and their years of playing music in Hamburg as just one example of this principle. The point to his argument is that hard work does truly pay off. Of course there are those out there who have “made it,” merely out of good luck or who they know, but more often than not from the stars in Hollywood to the musicians on you ipod, and to every other success story out there, their path to accomplishment was paved by hard work and dedication.

When I reflect back to my own time of graduation 10 years ago, I still tend to reflect back to my friendships with my fellow classmates. There are those that I have lost touch with, and some who have unfortunately passed away far too early in life. But there have also been several memorable moments with my former classmates, such as the time Andrew Jackson Litz performed air guitar while riding on my shoulders during the 2006 Air Guitar New York City National Championship. A moment, by the way, that got us in the famous New York newspaper The Village Voice.

In closing, I want to wish all of you the best of luck out there in the world. And with all good closings to speeches, it is probably best to use a quotation by someone from the past to emphasize the point beyond my own musings and ideas, so in that regard I ask you to listen thoughtfully to the advice from Mr. Mark Twain:

“Years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

***

This is my favorite picture so far. Look at that guy in the middle.

Short bio- Rod Jones graduated high school in 1997, and had the gray hairs in his beard to prove it! Since graduation he has lived in 4 states, visited 8 countries, read over 400 books (give or take a few), figured out that his favorite food is Indian Chicken Curry.

Now here’s what I have to say about Rod.  I would consider Rod the East Nasty welcome committee.  I was nervous about a new running group and that didn’t last long before Rod came over, introduced himself and welcomed me.  When I was looking for someone to run with for the marathon, Rod introduced me to Christy.  Rod is the glue and makes sure no one comes to East Nasty without being welcomed, and that’s a big job.

Through that I am thrilled to have a new friend in Rod.  Rod keeps me laughing with his stories and is my go-to for a great book or writing. I am so thankful for my friends from EN like Rod that keep me running, reading and laughing.

Check out Rod’s Blog The Western Wind and DO NOT MISS his Retro Picture Fridays.  I look forward to it every week!  I mean come on, check out this jewel.  You want more of where that came from.

About this series: This is one of  a series of guest posts in May that will run every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

Pack Your Bags, See the World & Change Your Life

17 May

“Crazy as I may
make my way
through this world
it’s for no one but me to say
which direction I should turn in”
Dave Matthews Band

Picture courtsey of Wikipedia

If I were you, I’d be pretty sick of staring at the back of the same girl’s head in my algebra class for the past year. Hair in a ponytail, hair down, hair half back, hair curly, hair straight.. So why don’t you get out and SEE.THE.WORLD already? See.The.World. And I am talking about more than Epcot at Disney World, guys. During the second semester of my junior year of college, I boarded a plane Scotland bound. Sure they speak English there, but I wouldn’t exactly describe it as easy to understand. Sitting in the back of a cab in downtown Glasgow, I stared wide-eyed at my two best friends as the cabbie repeatedly asked us where we were trying to go, only to me, it sounded like he was speaking Korean. Eventually, with the aid of hand motions, maps and listening very very carefully he drove us to the train station that would take us to the University of Stirling in Stirling, Scotland. I’d be living the Scottish life for the next 6 months as a student at the university. Far more important than any lesson taught in the classroom, I learned about their culture. Flats are a place you live in and not the description of an even surface. Pants means underwear and what we call pants should only be referred to as trousers. Tea is taken very seriously here (never ever leave your tag bag and spoon inside your cup) as well as football; you know…the kind with the black and white ball. Oh, and you know that movie Braveheart? The one where Mel Gibson screams “Freedom!” the wish of every true Scotsman? Well, apparently the Scots still feel the same way and many a cab was stolen from me on nights out as drunk Scots mumbled “No dirty Brit will take a cab before me in my country.” I never had the chance to tell them I was American, although I am not sure it would’ve helped.

Photo courtsey of Augsburg College

Besides looking for Nessie at Loc Ness and taking pictures of men in kilts playing the bagpipe, I had the opportunity to backpack across Europe. My two friends and I navigated train routes that criss-crossed over countries, each stop opening up to a new and exciting destination. During our two-week adventure, we slept in sleeper cars on trains, ate food native to that country and tried our hand at foreign drinks. We visited the Louvre in Paris, stepped on the rocky beaches of Nice and saw royalty in Monaco. Our adventure led us to Rome’s Colosseum, gondolas in Venice and on to Munich, Prague, Brussels, London and Amsterdam. Over a holiday weekend at the university, we flew to Norway and partied with a Norwegian friend of mine I knew from back in the States. When Spring Break rolled around, we spent 9 days getting to know Spain, a sultry romantic country that left a spicy imprint on my heart.

Photo from wordpress.com

Forget about missing out on tailgating for football games, themed date parties or what your friends back home will be doing. While their drinking jungle juice out of red plastic cups and talking about how much they hate their statistic class, I guarantee you, while your standing at the top of the Sydney Harbor Bridge the very last thing you’ll be missing is that party. Pack your bags, see the world, and change your life. It’s that easy.

***

Prom season

Bio: I am a clumsy, sunny, average speed runner and the University School of Jackson’s class of 2000 Most Spirited senior superlative winner. I find writing to be pretty cool and my friends to be hilarious.

You know I’m going to do it…here are my thoughts on the lovely Miss Chatterbox: Ashley graduated from high school in Tennessee and for the next week and a half, works just a few cubeland blocks away from me.  Put that’s not how I met her.  Sadly, we didn’t meet till my TPFL Christy couldn’t stop talking about how great her former roommate and best friend was.  Since then I’ve gotten to know this amazing lady and although like Christy, we’ve just become friends.  I know we’ll continue to be friends no matter where I end up.  The day after announcing I was leaving for law school…it was hard.  It hit me all at once and I may or may not have had a little freak out in my head.  The next day, I had a card from Ashley encouraging me and letting me know how happy she was for me.  Then for my birthday…I got homemade protein bars.  Seriously?! This girl rocks!

Head over to her blog and then repeat every. single. day.  Her humor, insight and passion are not to be missed.   Plus, you’ll learn what this fellow lover of books, runner and marketing extraordinaire has in common with Dave Thomas.  You know you’re curious.

About this series: This is one of  a series of guest posts in May that will run every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

What Are You Running To

14 May

“All men should strive
to learn before they die
what they are running from, and to, and why.”
~James Thurber

I have spent my life running; running in circles, through fields, and across thousands of miles of pavement.  I ran to get places, to get away from problems, to get away from people, to get in shape, to be fast…to win.  It is such a simple act, to move, but in that simplicity you learn so much about yourself.  I always thought I ran because I loved to compete, the thrill of the chase and the elation of victory.  What I have learned is that I run to find out who I am.

Running exposes the glaring truths about the inner depths of your being.  Am I going to be tough today, or am I going to be a wuss?  It’s raining, or snowing, or hot…do I really need that second run?  I had knee surgery, will anyone blame me if I quit?  Runners are definitely odd ducks, but we’re happy with who we are and we are comfortable in our own skin.  So why is it that a bunch of scraggly, skinny, akward guys are happier and more confident in themselves than most of society?  It’s because running teaches you who you are.

If I had one suggestion for high school graduates is figure out who you are.  I don’t mean figure out what you like to do, what you want to major in, or what your profession is going to be.  I mean figure out who YOU are.  Honestly, if you know that than you are going to be alright because the rest is just bull sh!t.  If you truly know who you are, then life will work itself out. You’re going to make mistakes, your going to fail, and life will not go the way you planned (life’s not fair…get a helmet).  If you figure out who you truly are, you’ll be able to lay your head down at night and be content.

So your probably saying, well that’s great but how do I do that?  If I had that answer, I’d be making a lot of money and be selling a lot of books.  Maybe you need to find what you love to do, and just live life.  I run.  Ghandi said, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”  I think the path to self enlightenment is different for everyone, but knowing who you are will get you through some gloomy days, and make most of them incredibly bright.  Buen Camino.

***

The Boy circa 2005. Ok, so can you blame me for thinking this kid was cocky when I first met him ;) Ballin'!

Bio: I am from the 513.  I love running 100 mile weeks, Rubix Cubing, and being a member of the Ring of Honor at the Flying Saucer.  I have a Compostela from the Camino de Santiago, and I wear my PF Fliers to run faster and jump higher.

OK, so that was what he wanted you to know.  I’m going to add a bit on to that.  It’s only fair right, when you write a post about knowing who you ARE and not just what you like to do.

Yes, the Boy is an insane runner and amazing competitor.  He loves Rubix Cubing (yes, I am in support and am actually an enabler in this).  As of tomorrow he will be in the Ring of Honor at the Saucer (as will I and yes, our parents are proud).  Last summer he did go to Spain, became fluent and went on an amazing ride on the Camino de Santiago (no he didn’t take me…I’ll have to catch the next trip ;) and his PF Fliers are awesome.  Ben is also of the Class of 2010. He’ll also be receiving two diplomas tomorrow from Belmont.  We’re not sure which he’s prouder of, the Ring of Honor or two diplomas.  BUT…that’s only what he likes, not who he is.

I love this picture. This is the Boy after finishing the Camino in Spain.

This whole series, as my friends’ posts fill my inbox, I read them and think to myself how lucky I am to have such amazing friends! I got the Boy’s and was overwhelmed with how blessed I am.  Sure, it had a lot to do with how amazing I think he is but it was more than that.

We’ve been together for three years (holy cow, I just now realized that)!  Both of us have changed and grown so much and it’s been so fun to watch. I think it’s so funny when people break up because the other person “changed.”  What changed?  What they liked?  What they did?  I care about this man so much.  Not the fact that he is a runner, learner, an explorer or can make me cry laughing, but because of his core.  WHO he is, who he was and who he is striving to be.  No matter what hobbies he picks up, or what he decides to do after college, I get to watch him learn more about who he is and I love that.

The Boy and me after a day on Lake Michigan

This past year I have watched him grow so much and to read these words and his advice to those graduating, to find out who you are and all the rest will work itself out, to me it encapsulates all the incredible change I’ve been lucky enough to watch in him this past year.  That’s another thing I love.  This guy won’t tell you anything he doesn’t know is true…from experience.

Tomorrow I am excited about to watching him walk across the stage and receive his diplomas.  I am so proud of not just his wonderful accomplishments, but who he is.  And more than watching him get his diplomas, as I watch all the pictures being taken, the smiles, and the congratulatory hand shakes, I’ll be thinking about how pumped I am to see what he does next.

I think that’s the pay off to knowing who you truly are.  Because like the Boy said, if you know that, the rest will work itself out.  He knows who he is and he can do anything he wants.  He’s not sure where he will end up working or if he’ll go back to school…but he knows who he is and is confident in that and because of that he’ll succeed at anything he sets his mind to! This Boy is going to do amazing things and I can’t wait to watch.

He doesn’t have a blog yet so until you can read that, you’ll just have to make do with 140 words.  Follow him at @simmie513

P.S. How is this bio longer than the post.  Next step in my growth…editing myself ;)

About this series: This is one of a series of guest posts in May that will run every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

Everything Matters

12 May

Dear Class of 2010,

If I could tell you one thing, one thing I want you to remember as you leave the halls of this familiar place, and you begin to plant your roots in new soil, I want you to remember that everything matters. Did you hear me?  Everything.  I mean it- EVERYTHING, matters.   This fact is something that I wish I had understood when I was sitting in your seat.

The way you treat people, the quality of work that you complete, the way you love people, the way you handle stress, the way you handle bad news and bad days.  It all matters.  In college, the classes that you sign up for, the people you choose to date, the way you treat your professors and classmates, the clubs you join, the sororities and fraternities you align yourself with- it matters.  Every decision that you make in your life works together to help build your reputation in the world.

When you leave this place today, you will no longer be a high-school student.  You will be an adult, a member of society, and soon, a member of a college class or a company.  You get the chance from today forward to decide who you want to be and how you want to be known and remembered.

People do not forget the way you treat them.  There are no times that “count” and times that “don’t count.”  Missing deadlines, skipping classes, disappointing people, hurting people, lying, all of these things will be with you from today forward.

And likewise, loving people well, supporting your friends/coworkers/classmates, delivering on things you promise, respecting people, and being an all around dependable person will be with you from today forward.

Build for yourselves this kind of reputation.  Stay up until 2am consoling your brokenhearted roommate this year.  Go the extra mile on the group report, instead of trying to skim by on the least amount of effort.  Admit your mistakes and immediately work to correct them.  Stand by your word, even when it isn’t convenient.

I promise you, these things will not go unnoticed.  And someday soon, when you need a favor, a job recommendation, or a helping hand- there will be a long line of people waiting to help you, excited to return the love and support you have shown them.

Everything matters.

***

The one, the only, the beautiful, Erin Anderson

If Matt is my big brother, Erin I consider Erin my big sister.  Whenever there’s a big life decision I have to make, or something’s been bothering me, Erin is the first person I call.  She’s the first person there when somethings wrong and she always looks out for me.

Funny story about that…On the Boy and I’s first date…for some reason I thought it would be good to subject him to my closest friends at a birthday party of someone he’d never met.  What was I thinking. But I knew Erin was there and I knew the Boy would like her.  And apparently she liked him too because she proceeded to tell him that I was a…wait, let’s get the words right…”a stone cold b!tch.” I think the Boy was scared but we both laughed and I almost spit out my drink.  Much like me, sometimes Erin can have the tendency to scare people when she first meets them (hence the name). We joke that it weeds out the bad people because once you know her, you know you have a friend for life.  And good news is, the Boy made the cut because he’s still around :)

We are different in so many ways and yet I am convinced that we are cut from different sides of the same cloth.  Her advice is always honest and that is why I wanted her to be a part of this series.  She’ll always tell you what she thinks and it’s always with your best interests in mind.  She is the most encouraging yet blunt person I know. Which I appreciate more than she knows.

Erin is about to graduate from Vanderbilt with her MBA and these lessons she’s talked about here are the same as the advice she told me about grad school.  EVERYTHING MATTERS.  True in college, grad school, jobs and life.

Erin grew up in Seminole, Florida but now resides in the Ville. To see what Erin’s up to, hear about life after grad school, music, her amazing travels, or just to see what she what Erin thinks (which I promise you is worth it) you can follow her at @erinolivia.

About this series: This is one of a series of guest posts in May that will run every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.