Tag Archives: The Boy

An Unexpected Visitor, Mace, and an Engagement Ring

13 Oct
“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”  ~Nora Ephron, When Harry Met Sally

Why, Hello Fiance

Just a typical Thursday night in July, I had come home from my summer clerkship, gone on a run with the pup, and made some dinner.  I was at court with one of the attorneys that day so I couldn’t wait to kick off my heels, and just relax.

I was planning to go to Nashville the next day after work, so I took the suitcase out of the closet and began the familiar routine of getting everything together.  After all the weekend trips, and the miles traveled, I could practically pack in my sleep.  But, as I was packing, I couldn’t help but get excited that  this would be one of the last times I’d make this trip before The Boy moved up to Cincy.

I just finished packing when one of my dearest friends from law school called saying she wanted to get together.  She had been in Africa all summer for her internship, and I could not wait to see her!  I hung up the phone and decided that I should probably pull myself together and get out of my old high school basketball shorts and my favorite t-shirt.  I knew she’d thank me :)

While I was getting ready, The Boy texted me and said he was finishing up dinner with his Dad (who was in Nashville for the week) and would call me in a bit.  I set the phone down and noticed that Caesar the Wonder Dog wasn’t sitting outside of the bathroom like he normally does when I get ready.  I looked around the apartment to make sure he wasn’t getting into trouble, and found him sitting right in front of the door with his head cocked to one side.  What a strange little dog.

I went back and continued getting ready, and was trying to figure out what to wear when I heard Caesar start barking.  At this point it was about 9pm, I wasn’t expecting anyone,  so I just assumed he was barking at the neighbors that had just moved in across the hall. I didn’t think much of it and went to find something to wear.  But then I heard a knock at my door…

OK, so again, it’s around 9pm.  I wasn’t expecting anyone and now I was a little unsure of what was going on.  I went to my room, and grabbed my phone and my keys (with my pepper spray compliments of The Boy’s Dad, since I go to school in downtown Cincy).  Looking back, I’m not real sure why it didn’t cross my mind to just not open the door if I didn’t know the person.  Instead I guess I was planning on opening it and macing them?!

Yes, I'm marrying him even though he's a Bengals fan. We all have flaws ;)

I went to the door and looked to see who it was.  Through the peep hole, I saw The Boy.  Wait…what?!?  I could not figure out why he was here.  I was going to Nashville the next day. He just texted me saying he was in Nashville with his dad…

Needless to say, I was at this point thoroughly confused, and I’m pretty sure I blacked out for a bit, ha. I slowly opened the door, paying no attention to the fact that I had just released the wild beast who was now jumping all over The Boy because he was so excited to see him.

“What are you doing here?!” I asked, still in my basketball shorts and ratty T-shirt.

He then got down on one knee, as he was trying to palm Caesar to keep him out of the way, and asked me to marry him.  Cue second blackout of the night.

I started smiling, and laughing excitedly and The Boy said that I asked, “Are you serious?!” about 4 or 5 times.  HA. I’m a little slow on the pick up some times apparently :)

And I of course said yes!

I gave him a huge hug, and could not stop smiling.  I couldn’t believe it.  I was completely surprised!  He’s way too good at surprises.  If I had to propose, I wouldn’t have been able to keep my  big mouth shut.

I finally put my keys and phone down (he had no idea I was about to mace him, ha), and looked at him and said, “But I’m all packed for Nashville.”

“Jack, we can go to Nashville this weekend if you want,” he said.  Which made us both start laughing.

I started asking questions about when he knew, how he planned it, etc. and then it dawned on me I hadn’t even looked at the ring?!

When I asked if I could see the ring, he laughed and said, “Of course you can, it’s yours you know.”

Come to find out, he had known for awhile that he wanted to ask me to marry him but waited to ask until he could go to Atlanta to ask my parents, and had gotten the ring, all without me knowing a single thing.  It meant so much to me that he took the time to talk with my parents and the ring was absolutely gorgeous.  I mean, I would’ve married him if he gave me a paperclip people, but The Boy does good work.  And it is so special since he picked it out.  Boy’s got taste.  He’s a keeper.

I texted my friend, who was at this point probably wondering what had happened to me, and we headed to meet her.  I ran into the place she was at where he boyfriend (now fiance) told me she had just gone to the bathroom.  I ran in, and The Boy still makes fun of me for the girlish shrieks he heard from the bathroom when we both saw each other.  He said everyone in the place turned to look in our direction.  Ha.

I lived out of my suitcase that weekend, but I didn’t mind one bit.

In the months since, The Boy has moved up to Cincy, we’ve both started school, and tried to work on wedding planning in between.  We’re still figuring out catering, the honeymoon destination and colors, but I do know that one year from today, I get to marry my best friend. October 13, 2012 can’t come soon enough.

The Truth About Tinsel, Trees, and Traditions

24 Dec

“Christmas was on its way. Lovely, glorious, beautiful Christmas, upon which the entire kid year revolved.” ~A Christmas Story

Does that picture make my teeth look like they're chattering?

Earmuffs Santa. I’ve a feeling you’re not going to like this.

I’m not going to lie to you, Christmas is not my favorite holiday.  (I can almost hear the sleigh bells halting and making a last-minute detour to skip my house). But before you start to question if my heart is two sizes too small, let me explain myself.

It used to be.  As a kid I lived for it.  I loved tearing through the gifts and (as any kid would) hated when Mom would make us sit at the top of the stairs for a picture on Christmas morning as the four of us kids jostled for the best position once she said go. But as I grew older, what I loved were the people, the traditions.

It was the craziness of 15 cousins, you’re Grammy cupping your face in her hands after a big hug as she told you how much she missed you.  It was Christmas Eve at Grandma’s house, the laughter and chatter of family and warm welcoming fire.  It was falling asleep on the car ride home while snow flakes fell softly against the window and Dad reading Twas the Night Before Christmas before tucking us into bed.  It was the sound of trains, the ugly ornament contest, the smell of cinnamon rolls and Grandad’s hug after you gave him his 20th “World’s Greatest Grandpa” mug.  It was those moments, those places, those people and those memories that made Christmas my favorite holiday.

We all have those traditions and at one point or another we watch them change.  Christmas is different now.  We moved, people passed away, and traditions changed. It’s been tough as someone who loves family traditions, but these past couple years, I’m beginning to see the beauty in it all.  This is the in between time, the exciting part.  We’re making our own traditions, borrowing the old and embracing the new and making them our own.

Real tree of course

So while this Christmas I sometimes miss what I knew as a child and people I held so dear as well as those I love who are far away this holiday, including my best friend (things are just not nearly as fun without him) I’m realizing it’s just part of the growth, the evolution, the change, and that there is so much beauty wrapped up in the in-between.

Yep, I have the sneaking suspicion me and Christmas…will make up some day soon.

Someday I’ll look back and remember this as my kids fall asleep in the backseat on the way home on a Christmas Eve that was filled with rich tradition that they’ll always remember.  Caesar doesn’t count, although he is loving this Atlanta Christmas in the 50 degree weather so I’m sure he’d welcome this tradition.

And because it’s Christmas Eve here’s a little something from a Christmas classic:

“Christmas Day is in our grasp so long as we have hands to clasp. Christmas Day will always be just as long as we have we. Welcome Christmas while we stand, heart to heart and hand in hand”

See.  My heart isn’t made of stone.  I’m off to go grab my favorite winter ale, put some Christmas music on and finish wrapping before Santa gets here.  Merry Christmas everyone!

He Said, She Said

6 Oct

Don't worry, I don't really have a cotton candy pink phone

She said: My long run this weekend was terrible.

He said: Really? How far did you go?

15. My knees were killing me.

What do you mean?

It felt like knives in my knees every step.  (looking back, I might have been being a little dramaticl)

Well, it could be that it’s getting colder too.  Have you been running in the grass like I told you to so it helps your knees?

What?

Jaye…

What?! (laughing and then remembering the couple steps I did actually take in the grass this time) Oh WAIT! I did listen to you. I did run in the grass this time just like you told me to.

Really?

Yes!  (still more laughing) The sidewalk came to an end so I had to run in the grass for a bit.

Wait…how far?

Ummm…Maybe  quarter mile.  Then the sidewalk started again (laughing because I know full well what’s coming next).

I said 75% of your long run on a trail or in the grass.

Oh…Well now you’re just being too specific!

Maybe it’s the change in schedule, all the briefing of cases filling my brain, or drinking too much coffee and not enough water.  It could be the late nights sitting in an uncomfortable library chair, or possibly running solo without my TPFL and Nasties or maybe it’s because I really didn’t listen to the boy… but Training for the Marathon Take 2 is painful.

I am planning on running the Memphis marathon this December after not being able do do the Cincinnati Flying Pig last year after getting hurt, and have really been having a rough go at it.  Physically and mentally.  I went on my 15 mile long run this past weekend and my knees felt every step which just tore me down mentally.

My pre-run ritual now includes Advil and putting inordinate amounts of Icy Hot on my knees.  It’s getting bad people.  I’m becoming like Pavlov’s dog.  I smell Icy Hot and have the uncontrollable urge to immediately go put my running shoes on.

I know there are good days and bad days running so I’m going to hang in there and stick it out but I would appreciate a little help here…knees, I’m talking to you.

The Boy is coming up for the football game this weekend before fall break and offered to run with me for my long run.  I have the sneaking suspicion I’m going to get lovingly pushed into the grass this weekend on my long run ;)  Guess sometimes I should refer to those who are wiser on the subject.  I promise to listen next time.

Do you ever run in the grass or on trails?  How to you keep mentally strong through a hard long run?  Suggestions are welcome!

Plan B

12 Jul

“The most successful people are those who are good at Plan B.” ~ James Yorke

I'm gonna need it

At this point I don’t know why I keep planning.  I’m throwing out the to-do lists, the sticky notes and the planner…well…I might hold on to the planner.  Just for a bit longer.  It’s my safety net.  I can’t cut ties yet.

How funny is it that not even a week after I let one thing go, releasing my clenched fist…I tighten it again on yet another thing.  Sometimes I wonder if I will ever learn…

If you haven’t already noticed, I am a planner.  Sometimes to a fault. Especially when it comes to big decisions in my life I like to think things out and figure out my plan of attack.

I don’t like when I have to deviate from said plan.  I get all bent out of shape.  You know how people always say, where one door closes another door opens.  I hate that.  I want the door I want to open to open!  It’s probably just locked, or needs some WD-40 but you better believe I’m going to get that door to open!  Turns out…and for probably good reason, every door is slammed shut and bolted up except for the one I need to go through, the one that’s best for me.  I’ve seen how this has forced me to go in the right direction, and I am thankful for that but for some reason it’s always surprising when it happens.  Call me stubborn.

When that door shuts, I am forced to go to Plan B.  This is exactly what happened last week.

The sign on Door A as it reads right now

Here’s the deal.  I am still in between what law school I will be at in a little over a month.  I have been accepted to go to a wonderful school and I’m excited, but I really want to go to a law school that I have been wait-listed for.  I just believe in my heart of hearts that it would be the best fit for me.  I’ve done everything I can to boost my chances should there be extra slots and honestly thought that when deposits were due just a couple days ago, they would have extra spots and they would call my number to tell me the good news.

Well…as some of your know, grad school admissions are just crazy now.  With so many out of job and looking to go back to school, programs are seeing an influx of students like they’ve never seen.  The admission people at this school have been fabulous at keeping me in the loop which I appreciate more than they know.  When I emailed them on the day deposits were due saying that I hoped some poor sap’s check got lost in the mail last week though, I got some back news back.  They received a record number of deposits and exceeded their numbers.

Waiting...

I was devastated.  I read the email and could feel the hot tears welling up.

I couldn’t believe it.  I was sure Plan A would fall in place.

I was able to get out a short sentence telling the Boy what had just happened (you know, so he doesn’t think I just spontaneously burst into tears like a mad woman) and he did the best thing he could have done at that moment.

He said, “I am so sorry J.  I know you probably don’t want to talk about it now, but when you do just let me know. I’ll be here.”

Later that afternoon we went on a LONG walk. I laid it all on the table.  We talked about the pros and cons, what to do next and why Plan B can be just as good or even better than Plan A.

He was so right (but don’t tell him I said that ;) .  He voiced everything I knew but just needed to hear.  Ok, so Plan A looks like it may not work out.  That doesn’t mean we abandon it.  That doesn’t mean we give up or throw in the towel.  BUT it does mean we start to formulate a Plan B.

Onward and Upward!

I felt so much better after our 4 mile walk/talk.  I know that no matter where, I want to go to law school.  I have two great options right now so I need to do everything I can to try to get to school #1 but also pursue #2. So that’s what I’m doing now.  Rethinking, reformulating and relaxing in the fact that I am going to do all I can and that eventually, I will be in the right place.

Seriously, there should be a 12 step program for people like me.  I’m learning :)

As a side-note…it is truly amazing how much you learn about yourself and those around you when you push beyond your comfort zone.  As frustrating and as scary as this all seems at times, and no matter how many times I scrap a plan, I cherish this time!  It’s exciting and I am learning so much!  I am going to make a point to never be complacent, always try new things and stretch my limits because it’s in this scrapping of plans and sleepless nights that you figure out who you are and what makes you stronger.

You know what…I might have to ask for one of my sticky notes back.  Just to write this little gem on it.  Maybe put it on my mirror, or in my car or better yet, on my arm:

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.” ~Woody Allen

In the words of D.A.R, “Yes, I know…but when will I ever learn” I’m right there with you sister. :)

How are you with Plan B? Ever had to re-route?

So Good

30 Jun

“He is good, so good.  And he treats your little girl like a real man should.” ~Carrie Underwood  

I know, I just quoted Carrie Underwood.  No, I’m not sure what wrong but I just couldn’t get enough of that song when I was driving home from Nashville this weekend.   

Maybe it was driving through the rolling hills of Tennessee…  

Maybe it was because I just had a great weekend with my boys in Nashville…  

Or maybe it’s because for the first time, I stopped worrying about it and just let it be…  

But as I was driving back from Nashville, thinking about the weekend, what’s ahead, new jobs, dreams, struggles, time together and time apart, family, friends and home, I came to the conclusion that everything is going to be good.  So good.   

I know it sounds simple, and it is, but sometimes that’s the hardest stuff for me to figure out.  Sometimes I overcomplicate and over analyze things.  I sometimes ask the wrong people for advice or psych myself out.  

The second question people ask when they hear I’m going to law school is about the Boy.  What is he going to do?   (Here’s the most asked question)

Ziplining this weekend in Nashville. I know, the hats are hot. Safety first kids.

It’s been just over a month since I packed up my life and headed south for the summer before making the trek up north for school in the fall.  So many new things were happening.  I was moving, going back to school in a new city and the Boy was graduating, and starting a new job.  I was torn between excitement for both of us and wishing we would be there together going through it all.  Some people had horror stories of long distance relationships going array and this did nothing to calm that nagging fear in the back of my head.  Again, sometimes I over think things.   

The Boy and I have definitely been a part.  He’s spent summers back home, or in Spain.  I had to travel for work a lot and holidays have been spent with respective families, he’d travel for running etc. And it’s always been good.  Not “good” like fine/so so or any other watered down version of this word that people toss around but good.  So good like the Carrie Underwood song.  Really really good.  It’s always been a time where we learn about ourselves and each other going through new things.  It’s when I get back from the day and can’t wait to hear from him, talk with him and hear what he’s up to.  It’s always tough not having my best friend around all the time to hang out with but it always makes me realize what I have and so excited to be there again.   

I know, I know.  I don’t normally share this type of stuff on my blog…nor do I normally quote Carrie Underwood.  I don’t know.  Maybe it’s the heat.  

The boy when we went to the GA Aquarium

Or…maybe it’s because I haven’t heard very many encouraging words about all this so for anybody else who has ever or will ever go through this…it will be something for you to think about and hold on to.   

I also write this to say thanks to those who have been amazing and so supportive through all this.  I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you.  

One of these people is the Law School Wife.  I read this post a couple of weeks ago and I think it hit the nail on the head.  The circumstances are different but the point remains the same.  She talks about how people would say they’d never stay together through law school cause it’s so hard blah blah blah, but after a year, she’s found that’s not the case.  She says law school didn’t break those people up.  Deeper issues or an incapadability did, not law school.  I think the same applies to long distance. She says,  

“Either you tackle the issues together, or you don’t. It’s not about law school. It’s just life. The couples who can’t handle the speed bumps, the curve balls, the stress of being an adult–those are the couples who will break up. The couples who know how to work through problems together, to work through stress together, to speak to each other with kindness even when the going gets tough, those who realize law school is just a phase and that work is just a job, those who know how to play together will stay together–”  

I love it. It’s not law school, or the distance or anything else that’s hard, life is hard.  She says some people/couples sink and some swim.  Law school, and I’d say anything tough like long distance etc., weeds out the sinkers.  And makes the swimmers stronger.    

 
 

Enjoying some of Sweetwater's Brew and watching the World Cup

 This coupled with talking with the boy and another dear friend’s comments I saw this weekend about long distance relationships being a great experience to learn about each other and grow has made me…dare I say it…excited.  

I have loved our weekends together, out having fun, exploring, laughing, seeing friends and doing things we’ve never done before. I love our talks during the week and how he can make me smile miles away.  I look forward to growing together as we learn about each other as he is starts a new job, I’m at law school and so much more.  

So…on the windy road home from Nashville, with Carrie Underwood playing as the backdrop after a perfect weekend behind me and infinite possibilities ahead of me, I decided no more overthinking, overcomplicating or worrying.  I came to the conclusion that I knew was the right one all along.  

So, to the people who doubt and ask about me and the Boy and how we’ll make it though, I can say with conviction and confidence that no matter where we are, these challenges and weekends and long nights are going to be so good.  

I can’t wait!  

Thanks Carrie ;)   

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